SF Olympians

Ino Leucothea, the goddess of seagulls, was one of the marine goddesses that protected sailors. She has an exciting cameo role in Homer’s The Odyssey, where she finds Odysseus struggling to stay afloat in storm tossed waters that destroyed his raft. She tells him to wear her scarf which will keep him from drowning as he swims to shore. (Homer adds a nice touch where she makes Odysseus promise to throw the scarf back in the water once he is on land; you know you’re dealing with a minor goddess when she can’t afford to lend out any of her outfits for too long).

But Ino Leucothea is most famous for her sad, terrifying origin story, because she was once a mere mortal. Her name was Ino, and she was a princess in Thebes. She married Athamas, and gave birth to two boys, Learchus and Melicertes.

Meanwhile, on Mt. Olympus, Zeus feared his wife Hera would find out about his latest illegitimate child, Dionysus. So he gave the baby to his son Hermes and said, in essence: ‘take good care of him, but make sure your Mother doesn’t find out, because you know how she gets’. Hermes, recognizing a No Win situation when he sees one, passed the child to Ino and Athamas to rear as their own. He assured the mortal couple that Hera’s divine powers of perception would fail to find Dionysus if they simply raised him as a latchkey kid. And as a girl. To no one’s surprise, Hera found out everything, and took her jealous wrath out on the foster parents.

As with many myths, the details vary; but all of the gruesome scenarios end up with poor Ino at the edge of a cliff. The most common version is that Hera drove Athamas stark raving mad. He then killed Learchus, and threw his other son Melicertes into a pot of boiling water. Ino rescued Melicertes out of the pot, and, pursued by her insane, sword wielding husband, ran clutching her half burnt child to the cliff, and jumped into the sea. Poseidon, along with many other gods, took pity on the two helpless victims, and, as Ovid put it: “removed their mortal essences, clothed them in majesty and awe”. Melicertes transformed into the marine god Palaemon, and his mother Ino became Leucothea.

“All Hail Ino Leucothea, Goddess of the Seagulls!”

Time: The Post-Apocalyptic Future

Place: The Throne Room of Zeus and Hera on Mount Olympus

The major Greek gods and goddesses gather for their Bicentennial Meeting to review the State of Mankind (although Zeus’ throne is tellingly empty). Since Zeus as a no-show is less rare than anyone would care to admit, the focus (and gossip) turns to the unlikely presence of party-crasher Ino Leucothea. She seems nice enough, and she is clearly some kind of goddess. But no one can remember what exactly she is the goddess of, or even what her name is (although Aphrodite is “pretty sure” she met her once at a Major Deity-Minor Deity Mixer).

But Ino is quickly forgotten when a distraught Hermes stumbles in, and gives his long overdue Report from the Field: The mortals, playing “with toys more terrible than Zeus’ thunderbolts”, have caused the oceans to rise, and the earth to burn. Mankind is dying.

And when the majestic Olympian Gods discover that the ugly little bird, the seagull, continues to survive by eating garbage and carrion (including radiation-scarred human flesh), the presence of humble little Ino Leucothea becomes all too clear…

INO LEUCOTHEA by Christian Simonsen
Directed by Stuart Bousel
Staged Reading on November 5, 2015

Christian Simonsen is proud to once again to be a playwright in this dynamic and unique festival. His previous contributions to the Olympians were the scripts “Cassiopeia” and “Io: A Sequel to Prometheus Bound” (both in 2011), “Chronus” (2012) and “Scylla, or Death by the Half-Dozen” (2014). Other short plays by Christian have been produced in Denver, Houston, Minneapolis, and across the pond in both London and Oxford. He is also a writer for the San Francisco sketch comedy troupe Killing My Lobster.